I am a giver. What if I shift my focus from others to me. What if I give to me? I am a caretaker, what if I care for me? I love people, what if I love me? What transformation will I invoke within? What if I am? Who am I? Am I a woman? Am I a daughter? Am I a wife? Am I a friend? Am I a programmer? I play different roles. Am I those roles? I am the mystery of Divine. Everybody searches to recognize the One spirit that lives forever in all of us. If I am that Spirit, if I am Divine... What am I doing here? I am here to be, to create, to expand. If I am that great, can I manifest what I want to be? I am to be. I am to live, love and be loved. I am to feel and be happy.
I am okay... that's what I always said to myself. What does that mean? It means so so. It means no care. It means I lack. It means they forgot me. It means I don't address my internal needs. My needs cannot be met by anybody, but the One who is within. I am.
I have it within. I forgot. I thought I had it. It didn't reappear as I didn't look at it any more. I walked around thinking I am okay, but was I? I hardly was. I never thought I needed anything. But me I had not.
I lived my life through my external vision, involved in many regular activities. And mostly I was everything to everyone. The okayness continued for far too long to bring me to my self-depletion. I didn't stop in time, I thought I could do it all. I thought I could manage. It was not happening. With every passing year I came down. It was already too late when I realized I could no longer be anything to myself.
What am I to myself. I am God, I am Love, I am Kindness, I am the Beloved. Why I am depleted? I forgot to give to myself.